Marriage isn't about endings, it's about new beginnings

So, I've been reading all of these "reasons not to get married before you're 23" articles and also some "reasons TO get married before you're 23" and decided to write my own. Although, it won't really be a list, I just wanted to write down what my marriage means to me! I don't want to go into much detail and state my opinions and objections on the other articles, mostly because I'm a firm believer in the saying "promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate," so I'll just jump right in!

A little back ground: I was engaged to Grant when I was 19 and was married to him about a month after my 20th birthday. Grant was 30 when we were married. We have both had our share of flack from people (mostly strangers and acquaintances) about how our marriage would never work. "I knew a girl who was married to a guy 10 years older, and all he did was control her and it ended in divorce." Or "wow, you are so young, you have so much more life to live before you need to worry about marriage." Or Grant's favorite (not) "you're how old and you aren't married yet? What's wrong with you?" It's actually pretty interesting how people think they are experts at relationships because so and so had this experience or that movie portrayed this kind of scenario (thanks Hollywood).

Because I'm NOT an expert on relationships, this post is about my marriage and mine only. But, I think this could be relatable to others (maybe). An idea I've heard circulating around very often, is that marriage is an ending to one's. It's like people think once you get married, your social life, dreams, goals, aspirations, and personality just ends. I am really interested in where this idea myth was originated from.

When Grant and I were married, I didn't feel like my life ended, but it opened a new book of adventure.  I have life goals and dreams, and so does Grant. Did marriage erase them and all of a sudden bring them to a halt? Heck No! Grant supports my goals and dreams, as I do his. After we were married, none of my goals changed, other than I added a few to my list, like being a good wife and partner to him. Getting married made it possible for me to have a permanent companion in my life. I have my best friend beside me for every life struggle and triumph. My best friend is here to give me support to conquer all my dreams. We encourage each other to do our best, give each other a hand when we need help, and open doors to bigger possibilities that we couldn't have opened on our own. Marriage didn't end my life, Marriage fueled it. Sure, I'm young. But hey, I get to enjoy married life with my husband longer. I can't think of a time I was happier than this almost year of marriage! I love and care for another human being, and I receive the same in return. I don't ever have to go on another "first date" in my life!

I think the thought of having to be committed to one person for the rest of your life scares people. The fact is- I don't HAVE to spend the rest of my life with Grant, I GET to! I feel special to have been his choice in an eternal companion! Others view "being stuck" with someone forever is bore, or and ending. But let me tell you, there is no other joy and excitement I find in waking up, hanging out, and spending time with Grant for the next infinity years! Maybe others only date boring people or they haven't found someone who sets of that "spark." Sure, Grant and I have only been together for a year and a half, but those butterflies never go away when he walks through the door from work. I'm always counting down the minutes until he gets home and I always look forward to the weekends because that means we get to spend every waking moment together. It doesn't get "old" or "boring," Its exciting- because I love him!

Even though we are bound committed to each other, doesn't mean we are stunting our personal growth. We are able to grow together. We influence each other in positive ways and build each other up to be the best versions of ourselves.

I hope all my thoughts make sense. They seem to be more together in my mind, but when I write them down, they sometimes get jumbled. Some may take this as a grain of salt or roll their eyes because who am I? I'm just a 21 year old girl who hasn't been married for very long. I just get defensive when society tries to degrade and demote marriage for what it's worth. Mostly because my marriage is something I hold sacred to my heart. I didn't get married to be free from my parents or prove anything (other than my love). I got married because I found my true love and I wasn't going to let him go because of my age or what others were telling us. I've dated many losers in my life and nothing can even come close to the kind of relationship I have with Grant. And when others try to fit me into a stereotype or compare me to so and so, I most definitely will stand up for this important  part of myself.

So, all in a nutshell, marriage isn't about endings, it's about new beginnings.

Loyally and Unwaveringly

I haven't posted since I created this blog, so no better time to do it than the first of the year, right?

It seems the new thing is to come up with a word instead of a list of new years resolutions at the start of a new year. Although Grant and I DID come up with a list of areas we wanted to better ourselves in [I like lists], we came up with a word as well. As 2013 was coming to a close, we reflected on what we accomplished and what we could do better. What is awesome about new years, is that it is about a month and a half before our anniversary, so we were able to not only look back at 2013, but also our first year marriage. We have accomplished soooo many things this past year and we have learned so much as well! 2013 was a stressful, yet amazing year! Learning to live with someone is a big huge adjustment, BUT I wouldn't change it for anything. I felt 2013 was a year full of change and adjustment. I went through the temple, we were married, moved in together, got our house in order [note: still getting it in order-does it ever end?;)], we have both been dedicated to work and school, we have finally gotten into a routine, and we have a cat and a dog we have taken in as our own. 2013 was CRAZY… but crazy fun!

Anyways, onto our word. I'll reveal, and then explain.

Cleave is the word! I can't take total credit for coming up with the word though. My dear mom helped me come up with the actual word. I couldn't quite put my finger on the word that my mind was thinking. But, leave it to my smart mom to help me out! Thanks mom! 

So, why cleave? The Merriam Webster dictionary's definition of cleave is "to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly." Man, do I love the last part, loyally and unwaveringly. 

As some of you know, my parents are moving this year. The company that my dad works for is shutting down their Grand Junction location and is transferring him to Cheyenne, Wyoming. My parents and younger siblings will be moving to either Cheyenne or the Fort Collins area. With that being said, Grant and I will be the "lone rangers" here in Grand Junction. Grant's family is scattered in Utah, and my family is scattered around the country. It's actually pretty scary knowing that we will be "alone." I have never lived away from a family member before, and never more than 3 months from my parents. I'm sad that they are leaving, BUT I'm happy my dad has work and I'm happy for the new adventures both them and Grant and I will have.

Cleave will be a major thing in Grant and I's life this year. We will be left to "adhere firmly and closely" to each other and build a family bond that is both "loyal and unwavering." It will be an adventure, but we are excited. 2014 will be a year of making our own new traditions, making lasting friendships and relationships with our ward family, and figuring out what we will do for Sunday dinner ;)

I feel like 2013 was a year of getting ourselves organized and this year will be full of excitement and memories! And who knows, maybe there will be or almost be a new little addition to our little family by next new years! 

Happy [late] New Year to all our family and friends!