Marriage isn't about endings, it's about new beginnings

So, I've been reading all of these "reasons not to get married before you're 23" articles and also some "reasons TO get married before you're 23" and decided to write my own. Although, it won't really be a list, I just wanted to write down what my marriage means to me! I don't want to go into much detail and state my opinions and objections on the other articles, mostly because I'm a firm believer in the saying "promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate," so I'll just jump right in!

A little back ground: I was engaged to Grant when I was 19 and was married to him about a month after my 20th birthday. Grant was 30 when we were married. We have both had our share of flack from people (mostly strangers and acquaintances) about how our marriage would never work. "I knew a girl who was married to a guy 10 years older, and all he did was control her and it ended in divorce." Or "wow, you are so young, you have so much more life to live before you need to worry about marriage." Or Grant's favorite (not) "you're how old and you aren't married yet? What's wrong with you?" It's actually pretty interesting how people think they are experts at relationships because so and so had this experience or that movie portrayed this kind of scenario (thanks Hollywood).

Because I'm NOT an expert on relationships, this post is about my marriage and mine only. But, I think this could be relatable to others (maybe). An idea I've heard circulating around very often, is that marriage is an ending to one's. It's like people think once you get married, your social life, dreams, goals, aspirations, and personality just ends. I am really interested in where this idea myth was originated from.

When Grant and I were married, I didn't feel like my life ended, but it opened a new book of adventure.  I have life goals and dreams, and so does Grant. Did marriage erase them and all of a sudden bring them to a halt? Heck No! Grant supports my goals and dreams, as I do his. After we were married, none of my goals changed, other than I added a few to my list, like being a good wife and partner to him. Getting married made it possible for me to have a permanent companion in my life. I have my best friend beside me for every life struggle and triumph. My best friend is here to give me support to conquer all my dreams. We encourage each other to do our best, give each other a hand when we need help, and open doors to bigger possibilities that we couldn't have opened on our own. Marriage didn't end my life, Marriage fueled it. Sure, I'm young. But hey, I get to enjoy married life with my husband longer. I can't think of a time I was happier than this almost year of marriage! I love and care for another human being, and I receive the same in return. I don't ever have to go on another "first date" in my life!

I think the thought of having to be committed to one person for the rest of your life scares people. The fact is- I don't HAVE to spend the rest of my life with Grant, I GET to! I feel special to have been his choice in an eternal companion! Others view "being stuck" with someone forever is bore, or and ending. But let me tell you, there is no other joy and excitement I find in waking up, hanging out, and spending time with Grant for the next infinity years! Maybe others only date boring people or they haven't found someone who sets of that "spark." Sure, Grant and I have only been together for a year and a half, but those butterflies never go away when he walks through the door from work. I'm always counting down the minutes until he gets home and I always look forward to the weekends because that means we get to spend every waking moment together. It doesn't get "old" or "boring," Its exciting- because I love him!

Even though we are bound committed to each other, doesn't mean we are stunting our personal growth. We are able to grow together. We influence each other in positive ways and build each other up to be the best versions of ourselves.

I hope all my thoughts make sense. They seem to be more together in my mind, but when I write them down, they sometimes get jumbled. Some may take this as a grain of salt or roll their eyes because who am I? I'm just a 21 year old girl who hasn't been married for very long. I just get defensive when society tries to degrade and demote marriage for what it's worth. Mostly because my marriage is something I hold sacred to my heart. I didn't get married to be free from my parents or prove anything (other than my love). I got married because I found my true love and I wasn't going to let him go because of my age or what others were telling us. I've dated many losers in my life and nothing can even come close to the kind of relationship I have with Grant. And when others try to fit me into a stereotype or compare me to so and so, I most definitely will stand up for this important  part of myself.

So, all in a nutshell, marriage isn't about endings, it's about new beginnings.