The Ugliest Trait

Jealousy.

Ugh. I hate that word. I hate, even more, the fact that I struggle with it. It has literally taken me a few months to even start writing this blog. I felt embarrassed and ashamed to admit I sometimes have jealousy issues. But then It got me to thinking that there are probably lots of women out there who also have this struggle. They may be a little slow to admit it as well. So, I'm going to go out on a limb here and admit some things and hope that it can help someone else in their struggle.

Remember when we were teenagers and fitting in was one of the top priorities? We had to wear the right clothes, say the right things, watch the right shows, and listen to the right music. Having friends and being invited to the "cool parties" was a big deal. As a teen, I thought all of that would just suddenly disappear when I got older. I never thought adults needed to fit in or feel like they had to compare. Some how when you turned a certain age, that whole need to be "cool" just disappears. You get married and then you suddenly don't ever worry about those extra pounds or love handles.

Yeah, wrong.

I'm an adult, married, etc and none of that has gone away. And if you are being honest, I think the same may be true for you. Even just a little.

I still look in the mirror and wish I was skinnier. I worry what other may think of my stomach pooching out that extra "baby flab." I still obsess over making friends and wondering if I'm weird or saying things that would make other think I'm uncool. I find myself comparing myself to others CONSTANTLY! It gets bad sometimes. I find myself feeling like a loser seeing other people doing wonderfully fun ad exciting things in their lives and I'm just blah, boring Laura.

It makes me feel gross inside knowing I think these things.

It's stupid and a waist of time. Why do I feel this way? Even when I reprimand myself every time those feelings of envy and jealousy flash through my mind?

"Dang, she looks good for just having a baby 2 months ago. I'm 4 1/2 months postpartum and I still look like I'm with child."

"Wow, I wish I were invited. I must be lame and boring."

"Their house is so neat and organized. I'm so lazy."

I find myself saying these things over and over and over.

Not even because I feel sorry for myself or anything. They just flash through my mind without hesitation.

It got me thinking that I need to do something about it. I can't live a life filled with envy, jealousy, and comparisons. I need a change of heart because these thoughts are not productive!

I listened to an awesome little radio bit on Mormon Channel about dealing with jealousy. I loved the part when she suggested naming at least one thing a day you are thankful for. Because jealousy and envy are signs of ungratefulness. Being jealous just shows how ungrateful you are towards your own life, that you have to be angry towards people who seem to have things going their way.

I'm going to work on that. Being grateful for even the simplest things in my life.

I also read an inspiring Enisgn article. I was happy to see that I'm not the only one who has spurts of envy. I was also happy to find a great resource for over coming it. Losing myself in the service of others. Digging deep and letting the Lord "refinish" me.

I AM unique. I AM enough. I don't need to compare to others. I have all I could ever need.

This month I am going to focus on this. I'm going to look hard at myself and get to the bottom of these insecurities.

Being a woman can be hard. Being ANY kind of human can be hard. Especially socially. I think it's important to support each other instead of compare. Everyone is fighting their own personal battles and sometimes wearing a facade. Instead of envying, I'm going to be happy for others. Celebrate their accomplishments. Celebrate MY accomplishments. Let's be happy for each other, shall we?

Allie Jane

As you can see, I changed the name and URL for our blog! I was getting a little bored of just "The Butler's." "The 'B' House" sounds more creative and fun ;). 

I guess since she is almost 4 months now, I should introduce our littlest Butler!

Courtney Jacobs Photography

This is Miss Allie Jane Butler! Born September 17th, 2014 at 11:31 pm. Weighing in at 7lbs 2oz and 18.5 inches long! Allie was born via an all natural water birth! It was such an amazing experience! Painful, yes, but so calm and peaceful! She didn't enter the world screaming, but just staring around like, "Alright, I'm here, lets do this!" and her personality has been calm and happy ever since! 

The name, Allie Jane, comes from my great grandmother, Allie Jane (Greer) Gladden. My Grandpa Gladden's mother. I never had the privilege of ever meeting her, but I know she was/is an amazing woman! At Allie's blessing, my grandma Gladden gave her a gift of a quilt. It is a quilt that Allie Jane, herself, hand pieced and sewed together! My grandma has had the quilt top just laying around for years. She quilted it up and gave it to our Allie Jane! It is such a beautiful quilt! It is hanging on her crib until she is old enough to actually use! Right now, I use it for her monthly pictures.

Lisa McKnight Photography

Lisa McKnight Photography

Lisa McKnight Photography

Lisa McKnight Photography

Lisa McKnight Photography

Lisa McKnight Photography

As you can tell, we are so in love with our precious little girl!

We are so lucky blessed to have such a happy baby! She rarely ever cries unless she is hungry or tired! and even then, it's only a little whimper! She has slept through the night since about 5 weeks! Mamma is happy she enjoys her sleep! Allie loves baths and has since she was able to take "big girl" baths! She can be fussy, but once you put her in a warm bath, she gets a huge smile on her face! The past week, she has discovered that kicking the water makes splashes and that is fun! She squeals in excitement every time! 

This was her first ever "Real" bath

We got this little bath toy out and she LOVES it

She is starting to grab things! Her favorite is to grab at bright designs on your shirt! Or mommy's hair! Her hand-eye coordination is getting pretty good! She has recently been more interested in Winnie, our yellow lab. She likes to feel her fur and pull at her nose! Winnie is starting to re-think this whole baby thing ;). 

I think they are going to be best buds

Allie is able to roll over from tummy to back like a pro and will sometimes roll from back to tummy! Especially if she loses her pacifier and needs to roll over to get it back in her mouth! She can hold her head up pretty well when she is on her tummy, and will sometimes pull her legs up like she wants to crawl! Who knows, maybe she will start crawling at 4 months like her mamma! 

She hasn't quite learned how to giggle, but sometimes if we try really hard and when she is pretty sleepy drunk, we can get one or two out of her! Smiling is her favorite though! Every morning, she wakes up with a big one on her face! I like to sing, "Good morning to you" (in the tune of Happy Birthday) to her every morning and she thinks thats the best thing in the world! 

This is her "roller coaster" dream pose ;)

A few days ago she started trying to mimic what we say. if we hum and move our voice up and down, she tries to do the same! She also likes to "sing" along with music! It so fun watching her grow and learn! It amazes me how babies' brains develop! 

Every month I take a picture of her next to a sock monkey! That way we can see how much she is growing compared to the monkey! 

We also have her on a monthly picture plan with our photographer! I'm so glad I ended up doing it! I love them and our photographer is so talented! 

Newborn

1 Month

2 months

3 months

This one is my favorite! I love that the photog. lets me get in the pics also!

Grant and I are so blessed to have been trusted to help raise one of Heavenly Father's children! We couldn't imagine our lives without our sweet Allie Jane! She adds so much more purpose and sunshine to our lives! 

To Love, Cherish Encircle and Enclose

Say what? It's 2015 already! I can't even believe it! I know everyone says it, but seriously, 2014 FLEW! I know, I've slacked so much blogging, but life has been pretty busy the past almost 4 months with the new addition to our family! Little miss Allie Jane, that is! I will do a special little post all about our sweet little girl in a bit! But for now, here is a cute picture of her I took this morning.

As you all know, I choose a word every year to use as my theme or mantra. Last year's word was "cleave," and I feel it fit our year pretty well! Grant and I's marriage has flourished tremendously! It was a tough year with my parents moving and us becoming parents! But, we survived and we are getting the hang of it all! Grant is truly my best friend and I can rely on him in any circumstance! 

This year's word was pretty easy to choose. It has been something I've been needing to do for far too long! the word is "embrace." 

The word, "embrace," means to cherish, love, encircle, and enclose. This year I want to focus on embracing my family. My little Allie Jane is growing and changing so fast and I don't want to miss a moment of it. My husband is so precious to me. I want need to be his biggest fan in life. My Savior is the most important person in my life. He comes first in everything. These three people in my life are in need of my embracing. I often find myself spending so much time on my phone and social media! It has become such a distraction. My house gets neglected, my spiritual obligations get pushed to the side, and my full attention is not focused on my husband and daughter. 

This year I am taking a HUGE step back from social media. It has honestly become an addiction. Addicted to the need to post and be updated on all my friends! Don't worry, I'm not totally leaving. Just taking a big cut back. Today is the 4th and I haven't been on Facebook or Instagram since. It has been a real eye opener as to how much of a habit it is. Every 20 mins it seemed, I caught myself flipping through my phone! It's pretty embarrassing admitting it! I have been so productive these past few days. Chores done, dinner cooked, etc. I've also been able to spend real quality time with Allie. I never want to feel like I'm not going her my 100% ever again! We sing songs, read books, and practice tummy time together! We have so much fun! I've kept myself so busy, that once 9 o'clock comes around, I'm pooped and there is still no time for social media! Social media is such a bitter sweet thing! It's amazing to me how easy it is to be sucked into it! 

Wow, now that I have gone on a whole other tangent! haha 

I'm excited for this year's theme! I think I'm really going to benefit from it! As well as my husband and daughter. Allie is almost 4 months old and we are working on getting into a schedule. Being away from technology and social media has really helped. It's hard work trying to get a rhythm going. Grant and I were just talking about how our lives are changing (for the better) and how gone are the days of staying up until 2 am and going out at the drop of a hat. I turn into a pumpkin at 10pm it seems! Freak, we fell asleep at 9 on New Year's Eve! haha talk about old people status ;) 

2015 is going to be exciting! Allie is going to learn to sit up, crawl, walk, and talk! I Love seeing her learn and grow! Sometimes I swear I can see her brain churning!

I hope you all had a great holiday! And I pray 2015 brings lots of happy moments and blessing! Cheers and God bless!

Hair Bows And Dresses!

A few weeks ago, Grant and I went to my 20 week anatomy scan. AKA gender reveal! It was so exciting! We found out it's a GIRL! We were both totally wrong! We were pretty sure it was a boy! But as the ultra sound tech said, there was no "turtle neck" poking between the legs. We are so excited anyways! It has taken us a a little bit to change our mind-sets from blue to pink! I'm just glad we know the gender so we can start shopping and decorating!

Her name will be Allie Jane Butler. Named after my great grandma Greer (my grandpa Gladden's mom). I fell in love with the name when I was looking through family history. Its a common name, but not too common, and I love the vintage ring to it! It was so cute- after the ultra sound, Grant said, "I don't know what to do with girls!" So I said, "The same thing as boys, just a little more gentler and more pink!" He grew up with all brothers, so this will be a fun adjustment for him! Grant's mom is soooo excited about a girl though! She has never had a baby girl, so this will be so fun for her to finally spoil a girl!

I've been in a weird mood where I want to sew and craft ALL THE THINGS (said in the "all the things" meme voice). I've gotten her letters done that will go above her crib done and today I got some fabric to start making some receiving blankets and crib sheets! It will be so fun- and will give me something to do during the hot summer! I'm so grateful I have a mom who knows how to sew- its a skill I never really thought was cool…until now; especially since there isn't always the exact pattern or color of things in the baby section at Target!

I'm wanting to do a soft, shabby chic theme for her room. The bedroom is already a lime green color, which I HATE so we are going to paint it a soft peach color! I've been pinning things on Pinterest like crazy! It will be a fun summer for sure! I love that Grant isn't super picky, because he is letting me do kind of whatever with her room (thanks babe).

As of today, I am 21 weeks and 5 days. So almost 22 weeks. I already feel uncomfortable and its hard for me to bend over to put the strap of my sandals on- so I think regular flip flops will be my best friends this summer! A few days ago, I cracked and had to turn the AC on! It was too hot for this preggo lady! I've also already began making my nest of pillows on the bed. I think I have like 5! Poor Grant has no place to sleep(oops). Only 18 more weeks! Its all down hill from now on! I want her to get here so bad, but at the same time, I'm enjoying feeling her kick and having an excuse to eat anything/everything(no joke- I ate a whole package of Oreos dipped in peanut butter to myself).

April Showers Brought May Flowers

 Grant got me a nice camera for Christmas, but I haven't used it as much as I should. Mostly because we don't have a child to take pictures of yet and there are only so many pictures you can take of your dog and cat before your husband thinks you are a crazy animal lady! I've also been swamped with school and studying.

Well, today I found a few extra minutes to take some pictures of our beautiful flowers in our yard! Like I said in my previous post, the previous owners of our house did a phenomenal job at landscaping the front yard so I can't take all the credit for the pretty flowers and plants. I love our front yard! It is something I look forward to every spring! Even though the plants make my alleges go crazy, I'm still happy we have flowers that bloom! Grant and I have worked really hard the past few months getting the flower beds cleaned up, bushes pruned, and we put down new mulch in all the flower beds so they look fresh and clean!

So without further or do, our May flowers:

That Aspen tree right there is the suspect for all my allergies!

These are my favorite! They are so vibrant! The only bad thing is they attract bees like crazy! I wish I knew the name of it!

I tried to do something cool with the special effects but it didn't turn out as cool as I wanted

These are my 2nd favorite flowers. Again, I have no idea what they are called, but I love the simplicity of them! They remind me of Little House on the Prairie.

*All pictures are property of Laura Butler*

Babies, Blossoms, and House Guests

A lot has happened the past month! Lots of exciting things! First off, Grant and I are super excited to announce that our family of two will be growing to a family of three in about 5 1/2 short months! And that is no April Fools joke either! We are both super delighted and can't wait to welcome little baby Butler into our home at the end of September! My little belly has "popped" and Grant thinks its so fun to rub it and pat it(I concur).

We announced to the world on St. Patrick's day

In other news, Grant and I are both super happy that the weather is getting so nice! We have started getting our yard ready for spring/summer! We already have some of the plants sprouting up and adding some color to our yard! The previous owners of our house did an awesome job at landscaping the yard and it has definitely kept Grant and I busy the past couple weekends!

I am so loving these tulips! We have about 7 spread out around our yard. Last year I didn't realize what they were until they froze and died! So this year I made sure to watch them and keep them alive!

I LOVE the green! We need to put some more dirt down- the wind and weather has thrown it all around! 

I also planted a few veggies and they have sprouted! When it gets warmer out, I'll transplant them all outside! I've never done a garden before, so this is a new learning experience! It will be so rewarding to eat the food I planted and grew!

My cute little plants! They are a little droopy from transplanting so hopefully they will perk up soon! I am most excited about the tomatoes and cantaloup!

Grant has been getting antsy about boating season! Every chance he gets, he is out  firing up the boat and making sure the trailer lights are working so that when the time comes, we can hitch the boat up and get on the lake! They drained High Line Lake this winter, so we are trying to patiently wait for it to get filled back up! It won't be warm enough to wake board or tube for a few months, but we love to just drive the boat around and be out on the water!

The Butler Hotel has been in full swing the past few weeks! My parents' house flooded due to a cracked water line that fills an instant hot water heater under their sink. My mom came home to about 2 inches of water almost covering their entire house and garage! So, while the fixer-upper guys are out there drying and replacing all of their hard wood floors and carpet, they get to stay at our house! We are sad their house is torn apart, but Grant and I are so loving the extra company! We love that our bedrooms are filled and our walls are echoing with loud noises from my younger siblings! Our washer, dryer, dishwasher, and water heater are happy to be used lots too! We really are enjoying it-maybe too much;) Grant taught my younger brothers the REAL way to play Monopoly also(we always just play the version we kind of made up), so they will spend hours downstairs playing! Winnie (our dog) is loving the extra people to chase around and play with also! It's been a fun few weeks for sure! Especially since they will be moving away soon!

I also had spring break last week, so I went and spent a few days up in Greeley with my sister, brother in law, and niece! It was super fun! I got to spend lots of quality time with them and was able to keep Camille entertained while mommy and daddy slept in a few more minutes!

This was the tiny plane I flew in! To be honest, I was pretty scared and anxious the whole flight!

Cute Cami

Helping sweep the basement